Mind Games

Sometimes i think the mind is built to torture the life it belongs to. Truth is, responsibilities had kept me sane. I thank god everyday i still have that; responsibility, not my sanity. Although sometimes i secretly wish i don't have both. Wouldn't it be better to live a life worry-free in an institution than going thru hell everyday with worries and unexplained feelings?

'SuperMods Enter Rehab' by Miesel for July 2007 issue of Vogue Italia

I'm not going to be bitter

I cried a bit in the shower this morning. I guess i had to. People mourn over death; i do it for flings too. For the coming week or so, i'll probably be as cheerful as a death choir. You'll catch me daydreaming behind the fire escape and i'll most likely lose all my appetite for life, but i'll get over it eventually. It always does. A proper closure, some would say.

Why did i let myself go that far is beyond me. The only logical explanation i could devolve out of it is that, being single for x* amount of time has totally screwed up my whole self control; my inner james dean coolness as i would like to tweet. I ended up putting myself at the edge of the cliff and dive heads on into a pretend relationship only i am aware of. Some would say delusional, jessica puts it as thinking with a cock.

What i hate most was coming up to you three saturdays ago, throwing myself out like a kitten on heat and totally, utterly turn into a justin beaver fan on strike.

And just for the spike of it, sex was only mediocre to say the most. Those porn star moves of yours are a tad too fancy for real life sex, so i would suggest you lay it off infinitely. What i'll prolly missed most are your kisses. Oh, and those early morning urges. Damn.. now i need to go down to a nudie bar and actually pay someone for sex. Hmmph.

Somehow i feel so much better now.

* A duration that's far too long to be single. In fact, its down right shameless.

Ohh wow, that's a really big photo of myself. Blogspot glitch, i guess? :P