Monday, December 3, 2012

New Year Resolution (s)

New Year Resolutions. I've been thinking about them a lot lately. I'm guessing as the sun travels along its remaining route to a complete circle, the inner kiasu in me is desperately seeking to find that one thing that would make my living more worth it than a passing roadkill. Perhaps its the joy of playing god herself and putting things into perspective that makes me enjoy making up resolutions more than anything. Who wouldn't pass that single opportunity of getting the perfect life every god damn living, breathing human being ever dreamt off? *sorry, that last pint of heineken is making me dramatic*

New Year Resolutions comes in many different form, thoughts and handwritings. Some hope to be a healthier being, others want to be more socially involved and the rest would range from getting that dream car to marrying that childhood sweetheart. My resolutions has always been side tracked, within the box and some what on a shallow level, to say the least. When i was living alone in jakarta a good eight years ago, my resolution was to be home more often. Then there was a year when i was working in a dead end job, i hope that the new year would bring more opportunities for me to travel aboard for work. Subsequently, i quit the following month and spent the next year shooting across eqypt, shanghai and istanbul. I was lucky. Last year my resolution was to be a better son, to be a better provider for my parents. Both of 'em aren't getting any younger, and i hate to see them worry about the family and me in particular. They should be out strolling through the ruins of guangzhou, enjoying the breeze up on the great wall and have a foot massage in downtown bangkok. All of which i managed to give them with the help from my sister. Next year, australia is up on the travel plans, and i'm praying dear god that the money exchange won't kill me.

This year i have a more self-induged, totally-me-and-only-me resolution; i hope the following year will be the year i find myself. Dramatic, much? Yes. But not many of us are blessed with that clear conscience of knowing what the hell is our mission on earth is, and getting that shit sorted. I never got on that boat. Its always been me trying to be whatever is on today's menu and blending in to the background music unnoticed and totally anonymous. But all this will hopefully change in a months time. I want to know me. And i want that me to be heard, to be broadcast and to be reckon as someone not be missed. I want to be the mo√ęt among the beers, the karim rashid amidst the ikeas and definitely the glitter in the air. Shallow? Yes. Downright nonsense? Of course. But at least i try. At least, i try to be me in your face and not just a mole on a regular arse.

I'm a sucker for a brand new start.

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