22nd October 2011

22nd October 2011. I had the most horrible time falling asleep last night, knowing that i would need to drag myself up again at 6am to catch my flight to Guangzhou. Yup, i'm heading back to the mainland again. But this time it’s just for a day, and then i'll be back to my concrete city again. Now, warmly tuck underneath a blanket in a corner on the plane, i'm still wide-awake. My eyes are tired from the 27hrs shoot that i had on Thursday, but yet I’m staring silently into the clouds without a blink of dozing off. The sky looks at ease from up here. Well, it always does. And that's one of the reasons why i always choose to have the window seat. That, and also because i really don't want to be caught seating in between two noisy aunties thru out the flight as they loudly discussed their glory younger days and how man is never the same since the invention of television. Well, ladies, they change because look at you; you let it all go after the marriage. You let all that was important to him go as you slave away behind the stove trying to master the art of making crème burlee while all he need was to come home to a wife that pamper him with lipstick kisses and teary glares. Fuck the crème burlee for all that cares, coz' you can easily get it off a street side bakery these days, and it still taste as if it was homemade. The man need to know he married a trophy wife, and not a prune who complains how the grocer never have fresh tomatoes, or how she never seem to find the fish she wants from the recipes she read in the cook book every time she try to be adventurous and be julia child. Don't get me wrong, i am not here to lecture you about the art of being a wife as i would be the least perfect person to do so seeing that i am gay and i think of sex every 10 minutes, but the fact is, i am here to let you know that one should never let that sparkle in him or her go and compromised with what life has to offer. We make our own decisions. We make our own destiny. We make our own dreams. Life is what we make it to be. It’s us who knows what we want and need. Don't let the great unknown tear you down and cornered you into believing that faith was biasedly given to just the lucky few. Its not. We are responsible for how we mold our life into, we are the one who determine what we allowed into our life and how we want it to be. We are the shaper of who are we. We are the gods within us.

Ohh.. hello mr bubble butt steward who keep staring at me from behind the trolley. Nice of you to ask me how much my ipad was, and to enlighten me on how the ones in australia are selling way more expensive than those in kuala lumpur while all i know what you really want was to have a raunchy good time with me in the laboratory. Haha. Talk about self-confident. Gawd, when have i become this narcissist cow who thinks every man want to have sex with him. Must be the wine i keep asking from the stewardess every time she walks along my aisle. There should actually be a limit on how much wine is allow for a passenger without him making a fool of himself unknowingly in a plane full of cabbage smelling mainland chinese people. Cabbage smelling mainland chinese people? What? Ohkay that was shallow. Maybe i should just shut up and catch up on some much-needed sleep, as how marco likes to remind me of. Ahh, marco. We'll talk about you more next time. Right now, i need to sleep. Good night.