I have grown up (a bit)

I was going through my old hard disk early this morning and i found this hidden inside a folder that i have long forgotten. I guess it was written about three years back to be exact. And as i read what i have written, it just hits me that i've actually grown up. And i'm at the place in life where i can truly be myself. I'm not ordinary anymore. I'm actually living among extraordinary individuals. I'm one of them.

It's amazing how simple life seems when you actually sit down and think about it.

I'm the kind of person who would rather stay home and read a book than to go out and party my head off. I'm twenty four. I guess there must be some major fuck up with my life. Something is just not right up there. It scares me when i realized that i’ll eventually grow old to be this prim and proper old man, who never goes to work late, who brings his pack lunch with him everyday, and sits at the exact spot by the fountain having lunch alone. Argh...that's really sad and pathetic, with a capital P.

I don't want to be that old man. I need to change. Need to get out of my protective shell. Need to be free. Need to be able to do things without regretting every second of it. I got to live life to the fullest. Try all sort of things. Be the man i long to be. I need to go to jakarta.

Well, to some untrained eye, jakarta seems to be this third world country that's slowly, very slightly, growing and expending her wings. It seems to be a country where riots happens just like how you always gets a pimple after a booze night out. But to me, it's a paradise. A paradise of endless quest, waiting to be conquer. waiting to be won. A place where dreams come true.

I was alone in a foreign country. Nobody knows that i am nobody from the place where i come from. Nobody knows that i don't usually goes to starbucks for a chat, and that i loves going to the public library and smell the books on the shelves. Nobody will find out that to me, a daily routine would includes waking up, going to work, come back from work, watch some tele and sleep. And repeat the exact same routine the next day. Nobody knows i'm utterly, amazingly boring.

The only slack part of being in jakarta is that i miss my family dearly. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my friends. I even sometime miss being the boring me. But hey, something got to give. You can't possibly have everything. That's how life works. You give and in return you receive.


psst...i didn't remember liking to 'stay home and read a book than to go out and party my head off'. hihi.