Monday, July 23, 2007

Lion City Ordeal

photo taken @ bugis junction

Do you realized that bridal house are so not homosexual friendly. I was in singapore last weekend for my sister's wedding photo selection and it just sort of hit me that bridal house are generally homosexual free. Maybe its just an asia thing, you know being more conservative and less open than the west. Maybe its just me. I'm not sure. But right now it just feels like every single corner of the room is infested by straight couples. Okay, maybe the word
infested is too strong of a word to use and sound a bit sexist, which would most likely lead me to being so stoned to death in my neon pink bikini (another tragic matthew shepard sad case) Anyway, my inner intuition is screaming for a global bridal house revamp. Think of two equally horny guys, madly in love and looking like they are about to jump into each other's pants against a picturesque landscape on a 20 by 20 canvas out front as a promotional billboard of a bridal house instead of the 'usual' boy girl combination. It would most probably shock two third of the nation and its godfather, but seriously how cool would that be. A world without discrimination. A world where we are given total freedom to wed whoever hell we desire, whenever, wherever and however, without being judge upon. A perfect world, not just some unachievable dream that all gays and lesbians have.

And if, if, i were to have my very own gay wedding (hihi), i'll definitely opt to go for those kinky sailor theme, complete with checkered skirt, white square hats and pointy black shiny shoes. Located out on a deserted beach on a far away island, expect champagne to be served on anchor shape glasses along side an array of freshly made sushi and sashimi, by hunky waiters in speedo. Yummy. Hihi

If only.

Oh by the way, this is rather shameful but i was stop at the singapore's custom for a random urine test as i was getting back into the lion city. My first. My first ever urine test. And frankly, it wasn't a very pleasant visit. Peeing in a small plastic bottle is one thing, but trying to get it all in without peeing on your own fingers is another problem. Very problematic. Anyhow, i did managed to survive the humiliating ordeal with a big fat NO on the test result. Why wouldn't i? And my advise to future random urine test victims (touch wood), drink lots of water to avoid having yellowish pee, which i must say is so not classy at all, girlfriend!. Secondly, try to just fucking calm down cause breaking into cold sweat, biting your nails and shaking vigorously is such a give away even if you are innocent. And lastly, try not to do drugs. But if you do, please just stay in the country for at least a month before attempting to go pass any custom check. Its only wise to do so.

5 comments:

.•º lilmissmei º•. said...

why the hell did they make u pee in a cup? you went across the border looking like a rotten tart from geylang again didnt you?

tsk tsk tsk

MAJOR!!

Unknown said...

but i thought even marijuana stays in the system for 6 months...no?

savante said...

Don't forget that gay men are the minority. Maybe they are hiding behind that tableau you have there making out.

the ugly submarine said...

lilmissmei : Of course you have to pee in a cup for a urine test. A plate would be to troublesome to maneuver. And no, the only reason i was held back at the custom was mainly i'm too cute for the singaporeans to consider real. They're all jealous. Jealous of my beauty. Its so hard to be beautiful. Hmm

joy : No la. It stays for a month. I read it in some website. Ganja.com or something la.

the ugly submarine said...

savante : Gay men shouldn't be a minority. We should stand up and fight for the right to be gay. Let the gays rules (and lesbian as well) And since we're at it, will you marry me? I always did have a certain liking towards men in uniform. We can play doctor and nurse. I can be your doctor for once. :p